I mentioned in my review of Hazed and Confused that I will next do a review of That's My Jam. I also promise to not ask “what's the difference between jam and jelly?” at any point in the review because I want to keep things nice and classy as fuck. I, of course, hope that Mr. Ben, and/or Jerry, will read my review and ask me to taste test their ice creams, so lewd and crude jokes have no place here... eh, who am I kidding. I won't even get a comment on this post.
That's My Jam is appropriately titled, since this flavor is my jam. The name might make you think of some shitty improv indie band in Wicker Park (or, for you New Yorkers, Williamsburg), but thankfully, it has no relation to such things. Even if it did, it would be ok, since it is far more pleasant in scent, sound, and probably taste. I wouldn't know about the latter, but maybe one of you have some experience with that. I also realize this shows how self centered I am, since I am assuming you would know what Wicker Park and Williamsburg are like. Or perhaps it is unwitting self deprecation since I do not expect too many people to see this? Anyway, I digress.
This variety of Ben and Jerry's Core line consists of chocolate ice cream, raspberry ice cream, and a raspberry jam center.
The chocolate ice cream is... you know what, fuck it. It's chocolate ice cream and I'm not describing it again. It is the SAME exact chocolate ice cream found in the Hazed and Confused flavor, including the little chunks of chocolate. If you need a review for chocolate ice cream, you've probably been living on a deserted (definitely not desserted) island all your life. Or you could read the other review and add a couple of views to this damn blog... please *cries*.
The raspberry ice cream is fantastic. It actually tastes noticeably similar to real raspberries. It is not too strong, but not weak at all either. It has a slight tartness and it is not overly sweet. It is thick, creamy and rich (get your mind out of the gutter, you dirty person you). This one also features the little shards of chocolate chunks with some occasional berry seeds, though no berry chunks.
The raspberry jam was the highlight. It is VERY bold, tarty, full of seeds, and tastes like actual raspberry preserves. A flavor this dominant was certainly needed to offset the robustness of the chocolate ice cream. It was still somewhat soft, so I guess their jam doesn't crystallize quite like ice cream does (should I be worried about that?).
I was also able to finish the pint in one sitting without feeling that this was sickeningly sweet, artificial, or like it was sticking in my throat. I also did not feel disgusted or ashamed with myself because, well, I don't feel bad or guilty for eating pints of ice cream in single sittings. Although maybe having it for dinner isn't really good behavior though, but I am big enough a person to forgive myself. Plus, thanks to the jam, it's like having servings of fruit. How awesome is that? It's almost as awesome as tomato sauce, and thus pizza, being a vegetable. I'm still in the process of trying to figure out if chocolate or coffee can be considered fruit, but I'm fairly certain they are. I also think we can safely say that wine should be considered fruit juice, right? It's made out of grape juice, after all.
Anyway, of the two Core flavors I have tried, this one wins. My main complaint with That's My Jam, and one of the complaints for Hazed and Confused, is that Ben and Jerry's could have done something much more interesting had they replaced chocolate with something else. I mean, don't get me wrong, I LOVE chocolate. I'm sure someone reading this has probably seen me with my eyes closed and sniffing the air while the smell of chocolate envelopes West Loop (again, assuming you know what West Loop is like); or has heard me say how I'd lick their chocolate vats clean since my saliva is water soluble, and they won't have to burn off the chocolate to clean them out. Such waste is totally immoral, after all (are you reading this, Bromer Chocolate Factory People? My offer still stands. It's win win. Please respond to my emails and revoke the restraining order).
However, chocolate ice cream, especially good chocolate ice cream, is very strong in flavor. It's so strong, that all those “double” or “triple” chocolate flavors are superfluous because they're not any stronger than regular chocolate. So the inclusion of chocolate ice cream will ultimately mask any subtler flavors it is paired with. You want to complement flavors, not overpower them, after all.
I'm not offering suggestions for alternatives without being on B&J's payroll, but I definitely have some good combinations in mind, *hint hint*.
Anyway, this flavor gets a 9/10. The raspberry ice cream was well done, the jam was fantastic, especially when it could have easily been an artificial disaster, and it was strong enough to actually balance out the chocolate. Good job, Ben and Jerry.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Ben and Jerry's Hazed and Confused Review
It's been a little while since my last posting. I know I made a resolution to write more during 2014, but, like most of you, I'm doing a pretty shitty job at keeping my new year's resolutions. So I decided that I will stick to my resolve (yay), by writing a couple of reviews for junk food (boo)... which I have eaten in single sittings (double boo). My intentions are altruistic, however. I am doing it to show solidarity with all my brethren whose resolutions to eat healthier were resounding failures (though that wasn't actually one of my resolutions).
Anyhoo, I'll be reviewing two of the flavors from Ben and Jerry's Core line; Hazed and Confused and That's My Jam.
You may have seen the news (hey, ice cream is a big deal) that Ben and Jerry's was going to do the unthinkable; something of purely mad genius. They were going to mix two, yes, TWO, flavors of ice cream in a single pint. Fine, fine, that's been done with spumoni, neapolitan, and I'm sure a shitload of other flavors, so I guess the double flavors really is not that big a deal. What is a big deal, though, is that they are also including an additional core of yummy goodness which would typically be reduced to swirls or a topping. There's a hazelnut fudge (this review), a raspberry jam (next review), a peanut butter based one, and a salted caramel one. So that's the part that's pure madness.
I'll be reviewing Hazed and Confused for this post.
This name would have you believe that this flavor tastes like what a hangover would taste like, or after imbibing in some really bad "stuff" your “friend” “gave” to you in a little plastic baggy after you "gave" him some money behind Subterranean in Wicker Park. However, it's actually a chocolate and hazelnut flavor with Nutella-esque fudge core. So there are no mind-altering licit or illicit substances involved in the ice cream itself... that I know of? I can't speak of the conception or consumption of the ice cream, of course. Though I was sober as a judge when I ate this... I think? I can say for certain that I was sober as a judge when I wrote this... a judge who had a couple of drinks anyway (I've never seen a judge take a breathalyzer before sitting on the bench...).
The chocolate section of the ice cream is basically, well, chocolate ice cream. You pretty much know what you're getting with chocolate ice cream from your grocery stores' freezer aisle; whether it's a more creamy and rich Haagen Dazs (I don't know how to do umlauts on my computer) or Talenti; the lighter ones Edy's and Breyers; or the varying generic ones, which are sometimes really awesome. Some are certainly better than others, but the flavor differences aren't really that drastic.
With that said, this one is definitely rich and creamy. It's semi-sweet, so it's not overbearing. The “fudge” pieces are really just chocolate chunks... Uh, what else am I supposed to say? It's chocolate ice cream.
The hazelnut section was very underwhelming, unfortunately. Hazelnut flavoring is typically a really bold, delicious, and distinctive flavor. That's why Nutella is going to be added to a DSM manual in the coming decades. Raise the prices enough, and I'm sure you'll see a junkie with a sign saying that he'll s*** your d*** and bust your nut for Nutella (gotta keep this family friendly, hence the censorship). Ben and Jerry's rendition in ice cream form, however, was not quite like that. It was very light and mild with a slight, slight, slight hint of hazelnut on the finish. It's basically like white flavor ice cream (that's what I call vanilla that doesn't taste much like vanilla) with a tiny hint of hazelnut. If you mix it with the chocolate ice cream, you're not going to get any hazelnut flavor at all. That was quite a letdown, to be honest, since that's the main reason I picked this up.
The saving grace was the hazelnut fudge core. Before you Nutella addicts get your hopes up, this is NOT Nutella. This isn't even generic hazelnut flavored chocolate spread. But it still tastes damn good. There wasn't quite as much of it as the promotional pictures indicated, but it was still a nice amount. This fudge core was definitely what kept the hazelnut ice cream afloat. It wasn't hard in texture, but had a nice chewiness to it. This was definitely the highlight of the pint for me.
All in all, it's pretty damn good thanks. I mean, I wouldn't bother with it again if not for the core since chocolate ice cream is chocolate ice cream, and the hazelnut ice cream was bland. However, the hazelnut fudge core is what really kept the overall pint grounded. I'm sure I can probably try to turn this into some pseudo-philosophical motivational sophistry if I felt like it. I could say your best self is your core (though I guess the "Nutella" core isn't the form of Hazed and Confused as a substance?), the internal you, which should always triumph over any shallow mediocrity which you feel is your external self. However, it's late and I'm sleepy, so that will have to wait for another time. Plus, you know what? It's fucking ice cream. I'm not the type to extrapolate puddle deep lessons in any random shit. Here's a tip; if it's mass produced or grows on a tree, it's not going give you an existential lesson, no matter how hard you try to find one. If you're learning about yourself from an avocado...
Uh... anyway... I give this a 7.5/10. I'd have given it a higher score but the novelty of the fudge core kind of wore off on me. I mean, you could always just grab a scoop of Nutella and have it with chocolate ice cream... or just eat spoonfulls of Nutella.
If the core was the entire pint of ice cream, it'd get a solid 10/10 (if it was actual Nutella, it's get a 20/10 if room temperature, 100/10 if frozen). For that matter, just put a jar of Nutella in the freezer and eat that.
That's My Jam, the chocolate and raspberry one, will be the next review.
Enjoy.
Anyhoo, I'll be reviewing two of the flavors from Ben and Jerry's Core line; Hazed and Confused and That's My Jam.
You may have seen the news (hey, ice cream is a big deal) that Ben and Jerry's was going to do the unthinkable; something of purely mad genius. They were going to mix two, yes, TWO, flavors of ice cream in a single pint. Fine, fine, that's been done with spumoni, neapolitan, and I'm sure a shitload of other flavors, so I guess the double flavors really is not that big a deal. What is a big deal, though, is that they are also including an additional core of yummy goodness which would typically be reduced to swirls or a topping. There's a hazelnut fudge (this review), a raspberry jam (next review), a peanut butter based one, and a salted caramel one. So that's the part that's pure madness.
I'll be reviewing Hazed and Confused for this post.
This name would have you believe that this flavor tastes like what a hangover would taste like, or after imbibing in some really bad "stuff" your “friend” “gave” to you in a little plastic baggy after you "gave" him some money behind Subterranean in Wicker Park. However, it's actually a chocolate and hazelnut flavor with Nutella-esque fudge core. So there are no mind-altering licit or illicit substances involved in the ice cream itself... that I know of? I can't speak of the conception or consumption of the ice cream, of course. Though I was sober as a judge when I ate this... I think? I can say for certain that I was sober as a judge when I wrote this... a judge who had a couple of drinks anyway (I've never seen a judge take a breathalyzer before sitting on the bench...).
The chocolate section of the ice cream is basically, well, chocolate ice cream. You pretty much know what you're getting with chocolate ice cream from your grocery stores' freezer aisle; whether it's a more creamy and rich Haagen Dazs (I don't know how to do umlauts on my computer) or Talenti; the lighter ones Edy's and Breyers; or the varying generic ones, which are sometimes really awesome. Some are certainly better than others, but the flavor differences aren't really that drastic.
With that said, this one is definitely rich and creamy. It's semi-sweet, so it's not overbearing. The “fudge” pieces are really just chocolate chunks... Uh, what else am I supposed to say? It's chocolate ice cream.
The hazelnut section was very underwhelming, unfortunately. Hazelnut flavoring is typically a really bold, delicious, and distinctive flavor. That's why Nutella is going to be added to a DSM manual in the coming decades. Raise the prices enough, and I'm sure you'll see a junkie with a sign saying that he'll s*** your d*** and bust your nut for Nutella (gotta keep this family friendly, hence the censorship). Ben and Jerry's rendition in ice cream form, however, was not quite like that. It was very light and mild with a slight, slight, slight hint of hazelnut on the finish. It's basically like white flavor ice cream (that's what I call vanilla that doesn't taste much like vanilla) with a tiny hint of hazelnut. If you mix it with the chocolate ice cream, you're not going to get any hazelnut flavor at all. That was quite a letdown, to be honest, since that's the main reason I picked this up.
The saving grace was the hazelnut fudge core. Before you Nutella addicts get your hopes up, this is NOT Nutella. This isn't even generic hazelnut flavored chocolate spread. But it still tastes damn good. There wasn't quite as much of it as the promotional pictures indicated, but it was still a nice amount. This fudge core was definitely what kept the hazelnut ice cream afloat. It wasn't hard in texture, but had a nice chewiness to it. This was definitely the highlight of the pint for me.
All in all, it's pretty damn good thanks. I mean, I wouldn't bother with it again if not for the core since chocolate ice cream is chocolate ice cream, and the hazelnut ice cream was bland. However, the hazelnut fudge core is what really kept the overall pint grounded. I'm sure I can probably try to turn this into some pseudo-philosophical motivational sophistry if I felt like it. I could say your best self is your core (though I guess the "Nutella" core isn't the form of Hazed and Confused as a substance?), the internal you, which should always triumph over any shallow mediocrity which you feel is your external self. However, it's late and I'm sleepy, so that will have to wait for another time. Plus, you know what? It's fucking ice cream. I'm not the type to extrapolate puddle deep lessons in any random shit. Here's a tip; if it's mass produced or grows on a tree, it's not going give you an existential lesson, no matter how hard you try to find one. If you're learning about yourself from an avocado...
Uh... anyway... I give this a 7.5/10. I'd have given it a higher score but the novelty of the fudge core kind of wore off on me. I mean, you could always just grab a scoop of Nutella and have it with chocolate ice cream... or just eat spoonfulls of Nutella.
If the core was the entire pint of ice cream, it'd get a solid 10/10 (if it was actual Nutella, it's get a 20/10 if room temperature, 100/10 if frozen). For that matter, just put a jar of Nutella in the freezer and eat that.
That's My Jam, the chocolate and raspberry one, will be the next review.
Enjoy.
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